Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 22

Ladies, you have to be strong now, for I have bad news about chapter 22. There is no sex in this chapter. *nods-gravely*

Luckily, there's also a bit of good news. The inner goddess does not make a single appearance in this. Hooray!

Ana is sending Grey e-mails to make him jealous (a massage by a man). Then, of course, she freaks out about him being jealous (twitchy hands, ya know). There follows one long, rambling e-mail by Ana and an even longer, rambling aswer by Grey.

What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub realtionshsips it is the sub that has all the power. That's you. I'll repeat this - you are the one with all the power.

Ana is being a naughty girl and secretly checks her Blackberry during the flight when she is not supposed to. Tststs!

When in Georgia, some very deep conversations with her mother about how men are. Ther mom is on husband number four, so she is the top authority on the topic. Her deep, deep insight about men is

They are very simple, literal creatures.

We learn that Ana's real father died in a combat training accident when he was a marine. What? You didn't expect him to be a builder or a postal worker or something un-impressive, did ya?

When she is off to have dinner with her mother and Bob (husband no. 4), she learns that Grey has a dinner engagement, as well. This turns out to be with 'Mrs. Robinson'. Ana's reaction to this:

The next day, while having drinks with her mother, she gets an e-mail from Grey inquiring about how many Cosmopolitans she intends to drink. The über-stalker apparently followed her to Georgia.

Holy fuck, he's here.

Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 21

The next morning, Ana mulls over whether or not she will sign 'The Contract'.

My inner goddess glares at me in desperation. Of course you'll sign.

And in case the reader forgot that Christian Grey is the most beautiful person ever to walk the face of the earth, here is a helpful reminder:

He is without a doubt the most beautiful man on the planet, too beautiful for the little people below, too beautiful for me. No my inner goddess scowls at me, not too beautiful for me.

The we encounter Mrs. Jones, the housekeeper Grey neglected to mention. Apparently, it is insignificant to him that some half naked young woman strolls around his appartment. Then, in the study, sex on the desk, followed by this:

"Are you sore?" he asks, leaning over me.
"A little," I confess.
"I like you sore." His eyes smolder. "Reminds you where I've been, and only me."

To get this bit of conversation out of our heads, here is a cute kitten:

Ah, that's better.

Ana is once again baffled by the enigmatic Grey and turns to the voices in her head for help.

I look to my subconcious. She's whistling with her hands behind her back and looking anywhere but at me. She hasn't got a clue, and my inner goddess is still basking in a remnant of post-coital glow. No - we're all clueless.

The rest of the day consist of job interviews, packing for Georgia, Ana finally confronting Kate about her big mouth (she promises to keep it shut), and Grey upgrading his little play thing to first class.

A Radically Condensed History of Postindustrial Life

When they were introduced, he made a witticism, hoping to be liked. She laughed extremely hard, hoping to be liked. Then each drove home alone, staring straight ahead, with the very same twist to their faces.
The man who'd introduced them didn't much like either of them, though he acted as if he did, anxious as he was to preserve good relations at all times. One never knew, after all, now did one now did one now did one.

Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 20

Punishment sex in the boathouse, because Ana denied Grey by closing her legs, while he tried to finger her under the table while having dinner with his entire family.

"No one's ever said no to me before. And it's so - hot."

The punishment in this particular context is that is is all for him and Ana is forbidden to come. But - triumph! - she gets back her missing panites after.

My inner goddess nods in agreement, a satisfied grin over her face - You didn't have to ask for them.

I win!

On their way back to his place, some deep conversation in the car. He doesn't get why she is so full of self-doubt because she is such a strong, self-contained young woman. Strong? Self-contained? Ri-ight.Then Ana realizes that he did indeed want her to meet his parents and - what's more - he asks if he can come to Georgia with her. Awwww.

And because Grey is really, deep down inside, just this sweet, vulnerable guy he agrees to make love ('plain old vanilla'), which irritates Ana. Grey then wonders whether she would prefer something more exotic?

My inner goddess pops her head above the parapet.
"Oh no. I've had enough exotic for one day." My inner goddess pouts at me, failing miserably to hide her disappointment.

What really happens in the bedroom is not plain old vanilla because Ana bargains for some information and agrees to be spanked. She gets introduced to two round, shiny, silver balls, linked with a thick black thread. And eventually, finally!, an orgasm.

Six more chapters of this POS to go.

Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 19

Might as well get through this as fast as I can.

Grey wakes up an exhaused Ana because they are to have dinner with his entire family. Apparently, she is supposed to wear the same clothes she wore before their trip to the 'Red Room of Pain', underwear and all. Slightly gross, this. Also, Ana is short of her panties because Grey pocketed them (after sniffing them, of course).

He wants me to be embarrassed and ask for my panties back, and he'll either say yes of no. My inner goddess grins at me. Hell...two can play that particular game. Resolving there and then not to ask him for them and not give him that satisfaction, I shall go meet his parents sans culottes. Anastasia Steele! My subconscious chides me, but I don't want to listen to her - I almost hug myself with glee because I know this will drive him crazy.

After a dance to Frank Sinatra singing 'Witchcraft' - and yes, Grey is an awesome dancer! - they head down to the waiting car. Ana, not surprisingly, starts to panic about her missing underpants. She is almost outside with No Panties!

It gets worse for her, still. She realizes that 'Mrs. Robinson' has even taught him to dance and she has nothing to teach him.

I have no special skill.

No shit.

Thinking back on her first brush with Grey's sexual specialties, she muses

I want to be with him. My inner goddess sighs with relief. I reach the conclusion that she rarely uses her brain to think but another vital part of her anatomy, and at the moment, it's a rather exposed part.

At the Grey household with everyone in attendence - including little sister Mia - she then realizes that Grey only brought her along because Elliot came with Kate. During conversation it comes up that Ana wants to go to Georgia to visit her mother and she negleted to inform Grey about this. Uh-oh. If that wasn't enough to piss Grey off, Kate - ever the bitch - asks about Ana's meeting with José the previous Friday. Bet he is really mad now!

Dinner gets served by one Gretchen. A blond pigtailed girl from some unspecified European country, that obviously adores Grey (and who wouldn't?). I would like to take this moment to point out that nobody in Europe is called Gretchen. Nobody! Gretchen (much like 'Madchen') is a typically US American name that we in the German-speaking world find ridiculous.

Fortunately, he seems oblivious to her, but my inner goddess is smoldering and not in a good way.

The Bible Is Surprise Bestseller in Norway

Go here for the full article. I may be an atheist, but the Bible does make for some interesting reading.

Nineteen Eighty-Four

by George Orwell

George Orwell's 1949 masterpiece describes an imagined future, set in 1984. The vision of a huge nation run by an all-ruling 'Big Brother' may well be the most feasable that has been foretold in literature. It may not have happened by1984 and, indeed, to this day. But considering that we currently live in a world with dictatorships, ruthless politicians, entire generations dumbed-down by governments and/or media, a world similar to Oceania may be lurking somewhere in the future.

The book is loosely divided in three parts, the first one setting the scene of the world Winston Smith lives in. Ruled and controlled by a government that does not only decide what the public must know and consequently believe of the present state, but also changes the past by irradicating history as needed and eliminating any traces of a person's existence, if this person 'disappears'. Winston doubts the regime and remembers a different world, a family even.

The second part revolves around an affair Winston has with Julia, who is defiant as Winston is. The lovers' dislike of and distrust in the government stems from very different reasons. Julia appears to be defiant for the sake of it and it is Winston that pushes her in the direction of a counter movement. The romance, of course, is doomed from the beginning.

The third - and most devastating - part details the imprisonment and torture of Winston. Handed to him by one O'Brian, that he formerly believed to be a member of 'The Brotherhood', a rumoured restistance group. O'Brian, meanwhile, was always working for the government and puts it upon himself to mold Winston into a mindless party member. The ultimate goal is for Winston to love Big Brother and believe every word the party says. For an unsepcified amount of time, Winston is being tortured - physically and psychologically - until he even believes that

2 + 2 = 5

An absolutely brilliant book!

10/10

"War, it will be seen, is now a purely internal affair. In the past, the ruling groups of all countries, although they might recognise their common interest and therefore limit the destructiveness of war, did fight against one another, and the victor always plundered the vanquished. In our own day they are not fighting against one another at all. The war is waged by each ruling group against its own subjects, and the object of the war is not to make or prevent conquests of territory, but to keep the structure of society intact. The very word 'war', therefore, has become misleading. It would probably be accurate to say that by becoming continuous war has ceased to exist."

 

Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 18

Why ever did I take on this task? I thought this would be so bad that it would actually be entertaining, but the truth is that this book is just really, really dull. I seriously do not understand the fascination it holds on so many (I assume) women.

Sorry, had a little crisis there. Anyway, where were we? ....Ah right, getting Ana on the pill.

After her visit with the doctor, Ana once again shocks Mr. Sex-on-Legs (her words, not mine) by jokings telling him that she has to abstain from all sexual activity for the next four weeks. And we are led to believe that Grey would, if only briefly, believe her. Oh, come on!

So Ana then gets her first go in the Red Room of Pain (again, her words, not mine) and here comes her inner goddess once again:

My inner goddess is spinning like a world-class ballerina, pirouette after pirouette.

What follows is all about obedience - kneeling, no looking at Grey, chains, riding crop, shackles, cuffs, "Yes Sir", cable tie and orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. And - surprise! - it is exhausting.

My inner goddess has a 'do not disturb' sign on the outside of her room.

I want to hurt that inner goddess. Badly.

Article about "Something Wicked This Way Comes"

I found this article on The Guardian website's book blog. They have a series going on entitled "Darkness in literature" and Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes fit the bill.

If you haven't read the book yet, do. It is very good.

Fifty Shades of Grey - Chapter 17

Grey spent the night. The whole night! Imagine! Apparently, he is not only hot in looks, but also hot in body temperature. So hot, in fact, that it wakes poor Ana. For some strange reason, her inner goddess remains silent about this.

Later, some back and forth e-mailing. And it looks like the Macbook will be refered to as "the mean machine" for the entire book.

Basically they discuss some more dos and don'ts for their upcoming first weekend together.

On Kate's and Ana's last day at their old apartment, they have a drink with José.

The atmosphere between José and I has returned to normal, the attempted kiss forgotten. Well, it's been swept under the rug that my inner goddess is lying on, eating grapes and tapping her fingers, waiting not so patiently for Sunday.

Elliot comes and helps them move, and he turns out to be a DYI god. Of course.

Then, finally, Sunday.

My inner goddess is beside herself, hopping from foot to foot.

After she arrives in her new ride.

Go girl! My inner goddess has her pom poms in hand - she's in cheerleading mode.

But before any of the spanking can begin Ana has an appointment with the very best Ob/Gyn that Grey has arranged for her.

"Ready for some contraception?" he asks as he stands and holds out his hand to me.

Can this get any dumber?